It's a Terrible Thing, But Not Really

If I were to wait until I had something of value to say, I'd do what I've done for the past couple of months...indefinitely. And that is...I wouldn't blog at all. I know every writer in the world feels this way at some point. That gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach that not only eats at you, but talks to you between bites. "You really have nothing to say." "Why do you think anyone would care to read paragraphs of nothingness?" "You're not much of a writer, so why are you wasting your time with this?"

And then after days and weeks of "hearing" those same things repeated in a myriad of different internal dialogues, eventually I give in and just start typing something. See, the thing that keeps me from blogging is probably the fact that I write every single day. I just don't blog every day.

I'm a member of multiple forums and I keep a journal, although a bit more sporadically than my forum participation. But those forms of writing really satisfy most of my communication desires. I also struggle a bit with the blogging idea, because most of the people I myself enjoy reading are brilliant or funny, or brilliant AND funny, and I don't consider myself to be either of those things. A lot of the bloggers I enjoy reading are also what is generally referred to as "Mommy Bloggers," and I don't entirely qualify for that category being that my children are grown and in their 20s.

My interests, don't seem to be shared with very many other people my age. For instance, I'm big big into PC gaming. Over the past couple of months I have been playing Everquest II again, after being away from it for about a year. I've also played Dragon Age: Origins, Torchlight, and participated in various other beta tests and trials for other games, both role-playing games and MMOs of assorted flavors. See....I've lost most anyone reading this already. I guess the one thing I could mention that is pretty much a household word by now is that I also just left World of Warcraft after having played for five years. Yeah....at least some people have heard of THAT one.

So when it comes time to blog/write outside of my comfort zones of game forums, rant forums, and journaling....I tend to choke. My problem is that I don't really want to write "for myself." If I was writing just for myself, then my blog would become my journal, and there would be no point in keeping them separate. There would also be no point in anyone ever reading it. My journal makes very little sense unless you're inside of my head. Actually....I'M inside of my head and I don't always understand it when I go back to read it days later, so....it would be silly to expect anyone else to decipher it.

I'm feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have nothing pertinent to say...sometimes for months at a time. On the other hand, if you don't write for your blog regularly, you lose readers even if you only have ten. Oh wait...now I have eight. And of those eight, probably six are just kind-hearted people who don't want me to feel alone. You guys...are the bomb. :)

I would love to be a writer of the same caliber and style as Jenny, The Bloggess. I would love more than anything to make people LAUGH. Laughter is so healthy, so healing, so freeing. But I'm not always funny. Sometimes I am just downright boring. And I have to wonder what kind of person is able to write something funny on a regular basis that makes people just roll with laughter.

Anyhow....this is an update, weak as it may be. And I would like to say I'm willing to make a commitment to blogging, but I don't like letting anyone down. I don't like letting myself down either. I haven't kept up reading the blogs I love. I haven't kept up writing here. I'm struggling to keep up with even simple daily things right now like laundry. It's just one of the times of life. But I will TRY to do better. I will TRY to be funnier. I will TRY to post more often. I will TRY to not lose my mind worrying about trying to do those things.

Right now....all I want is some nachos.

Violence, Guns, and Video Games - Grow UP, America!

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/21/arts/television/21vide.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&adxnnlx=1187964000-CCeOO6yr2SlV8CsZg3PJEA

This may be an unpopular view, BUT...when is our government going to stop trying to parent our children? And WHEN are parents going to start parenting so the government doesn't feel a NEED to continually be trying TO parent?!!!

This whole violent video game controversy makes about as much sense to me as gun control. Guns don't kill people...screwed up PEOPLE do. Video games ALSO don't kill people, but sick people DO. A healthy, normal person is quite capable of responsibly handling weapon ownership and certainly capable of distinguishing fantasy from reality.

I was raised around guns, my father was an avid hunter, and also liked to go the range to shoot handguns. I was taught gun safety when I was very young. It would have NEVER run across my mind to "play" with a gun. I had parents that TAUGHT me. They did not rely on the school system, my friends, and other people to be my parents or "teachers" in ANY area of learning. I knew how to read and write BEFORE I entered school. My parents...PARENTED.

Make a law outlawing guns and law abiding citizens will follow it. The criminals don't care about the law NOW, they certainly will not THEN. Criminals....will always have guns.

And on the topic of video games, as I know they are a different subject matter than the gun control argument. The Columbine shootings are always brought up here. The kids that did that were psychologically disturbed kids. I would bet my life's savings that this was a problem LONG before they picked up a video game. Their parents seemed to ignore their strange anti-social behaviors to a good degree, and obviously did not get them the mental health HELP that they NEEDED.

I have been playing video games since their initial creation and release into the "public sector." I also allowed my son to play video games. Some...were probably a bit violent. But long before he (or I) began gaming, we had parents that had taught us the difference between fantasy and reality. I knew that Santa Claus wasn't real. (People REALLY need to quit LYING to their children.) I knew that movies were made by writers and actors. MY son knew all these things as well.

I've played a vast array of video games, from Painkiller to World of Warcraft, to Counterstrike, and I have never had the inclination to go out and kill anyone. I can say the same for my now 18 year old son, who is the varsity wide receiver for his high school football team, makes good grades in school, and WORKS, as well. He is a responsible young man who ocassionally enjoys (still) a good video game.

I think what this country needs to invest in, is a law and program that legally REQUIRES parenting classes for new parents. Period. Any IDIOT can have a child with no training or knowledge whatsoever. Instead of trampling our freedoms...why not teach people to be better, well...PEOPLE? And certainly there is a DIRE need for better PARENTS.

As human beings, when are we going to start taking RESPONSIBILITY for own OWN actions and quit blaming this, that, and the other thing? Inanimate objects and media are not responsible for the ACTIONS we take....WE ARE.

GROW UP America.